Furlough: freedom or fear?

I look back on the second quarter of 2020 with mixed emotions. We had just been put into the first of what turned out to be months’ worth of lockdowns. Schools had closed, businesses had to mobilise a remote workforce, and as well as maintaining my own career I had to home-school my then 4-year old. Life was hard and the fear of the unknown was the scariest thing.

After a couple of weeks, I realised that something had to give. Although I was only working part time, it was impossible for me to look after a 2-year old, home-school another child, maintain a household and keep working. So, I opted to be furloughed.

At the time I thought it was a blessing. I didn’t have to worry about income and could concentrate on ensuring my family were protected as much as possible from the outside world. I had friends and family going through the most horrific ordeals and so considered myself very fortunate.

However, as the days and weeks passed, less contact came from my boss and my peers despite regular communication from my side. I was trying to keep the momentum of my team up from the side-lines, but it soon became apparent that things were not going to transpire as I had hoped.

After several attempts I managed to speak to my boss and he admitted that the business was struggling – and that job losses were now becoming a reality. I knew that in a senior position and having just completed a huge company-wide project just before lockdown, my position was unstable.

And so, rather inevitably I got made redundant at the end of the Summer. Like too many to mention, I was now looking for something new. Not only for the financial security but more so for my mental wellbeing, which was in tatters.

While I could have spiralled into a deep depression, I managed to use this time as an opportunity to really think about what I wanted to do with my life and what was best for my little family. And that’s when it hit me – I wanted to do something that would give me a sense of achievement, and I wanted to do something completely different.

This feeling was the catalyst that ultimately launched Rush Consulting – and it was something that brought together everything I loved, and everything I was good at. I wanted to help others, whether through life management, coaching or marketing services. And I wanted to mobilise an outsourced marketing function that would offer businesses a way of accessing brilliant marketing at a fraction of the equivalent in-house cost. 

Like all good ideas, it came together incredibly quickly; it just made sense. I’d be utilising the knowledge I’ve built in my career, the life experience I’ve gained, and the network of brilliant people I’d built great relationships with. It would be fun and rewarding – but also, it would actually work. And all the knocks and ups and downs I’ve faced were vital in motivating to actually do it.

So did the furlough scheme give me freedom or fear? Probably a bit of both.

Initially it gave me the freedom to put my family first at a time when that was paramount, but then the fear struck when I knew that by opting to be furloughed, I had put myself in the firing line. 

However, ultimately, I wouldn’t have realised my dream without furlough and Rush Consulting would still be just another idea at the back of my mind. So in years to come, I’ll probably look back on it as a blessing. Sometimes in life the most positive decisions are made in the bleakest periods, because you’re forced to be bold.